This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
