I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
