I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How does one acquire holy water?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
