I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
