He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
