She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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