Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize