Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize