So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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