when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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