bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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