D3 body, D1 cock
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
