I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
