Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
