can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
