Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
