Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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