I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
