Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
