Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
