I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
