god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your cock deserves a montage
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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