my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
