why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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