you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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