Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
