I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
