Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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