weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
