i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
