Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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