The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
