she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This baby is an asshole
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
