i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His hands were made for my vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
