But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
