But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
