The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
