But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
