Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
