yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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