It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just cropdusted the office
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
