I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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