and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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