Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
