I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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