the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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