We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize