Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
