I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize