I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
