She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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