if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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