My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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