He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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