Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
