you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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