Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
