Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
