i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
