Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
