Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
